Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Guys at Bridal Showers

Is anybody else disturbed by this growing trend? Lately I've been to more and more bridal showers at which the groom was present. He's always the only guy in the room and trying not to look tortured. The girls are all milling about with their plates of baked zitti and mini pizzas oohing and aahing as the bride opens such wonders as an immersion blender and a whisk with an egg shaped handle. The poor groom is wondering what the heck any of those items are. Conversation sort of stutters and fumbles as he gets near and people try to come up with something non kitchen item, wedding planning related. He is struggling for something to say as well, trying to impress his wifes friends. Everyone is sort of wondering what he is doing there.

Most of the grooms I have actually asked have said their wife thought it would be sweet to have him there. Now sharing your wedding milestones together is nice, but if you're going to force him to come you should really have someone there for him to talk to. I applaud the thought behind wanting him to make friends with your friends but is throwing him solo in the middle of ALL you girlfriends during which time they are talking about kitchen appliances and changing diapers the best way to go about that? I vote no. If you're set on having there have some sort of joint party where his friends attend as well (yes, sacrilege in many circles since your girls and guy friends will mix. But if you think that' bad, then having your husband at the regular girls only shower is pretty bad too. After all your sexy friends are roaming around tempting him.). Your friends will meet his friends, there will be less pressure and who knows you might even make a shidduch. However, it will change the tone of your party. So if you want the traditional toaster-fest You shouldn't force your fiancee to suffer through it. You should also consider your friends feelings. If they are scared whit-less by large gatherings of guys you shouldn't torture them with your husbands friends, or even your husband, intruding on their girls only gathering. Just because your the brde doesn't give you the right to make anyone miserable. Including your friends and your husband.


  1. My brother in law (who was then engaged to my husband's sister) was at his fiancee's shower 20 years ago. I don't recall anyone batting an eye. I forget what I gave them, but I remember I supplemented the gift with a few aprons from Harrod's in London (I'd been visiting family a few months previously). They tried them on and posed for pictures.

  2. I would think its much less tznius for one guy surrounded by all these girls, then just to have 50% boys/50% girls in places where men and women are accustomed to work and shop together anyway..

  3. Tesyaa I am glad it worked out in that situation. The apron pic sounds really cute. The post was spurred by my being at yet another shower where the groom looked like someone was roasting him alive, slowly. Different people have different tastes. I think the groom should definitely be given the option to sit this one out if he wants.

    I completely agree semgirl. Especially when some of the gifts are sexy lingerie (an aside on that topic, I love fun gifts as much as the next girl but if the bride's soon to be mother in law is a total prude try and sneak her out of the room when you display the lacy underwear).

  4. I hear ya. One of my friends has her choson at her shower. He actually looked like he was having fun being the only guy there, which was even more bothersome to me than him being uncomfortable...